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1. His apartment is carpeted with dirty clothes, books, candy wrappers
2.His favorite candy – M & Ms
3.He is often a latecomer or a no-show
4.He jots time-and-place information for dates and appointments on scraps of paper that are tucked away and forgotten
5.Stacks of old newspapers sit on chair seats
6.Socks bake on lampshades
7.Papers for classes wrinkled and carelessly scrawled
8.I met Pete for the first time in math class
9.His sister is just the opposite, very neat
10.Always late for classes, out of breath
11.He is one messy person
12.Papers stained with Coke or M & Ms
PRACTICE 6
Choose the topic from Practice 5 that most interests you. Write that topic and your topic sentence here.
Topic:
Topic sentence:
Now brainstorm. Write anything that comes to you about your topic sentence. Just let your ideas pour onto paper.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
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6.
7.
Selecting and Dropping Ideas
Next simply read over what you have written, selecting those ideas that relate to and support the topic sentence and dropping those that do not. That is, keep the facts, examples, or little stories that provide specific information about your topic sentence. Drop ideas that just repeat the topic sentence but add nothing new to the paragraph.
If you are not sure which ideas to select or drop, underline the key word or words of the topic sentence, the ones that indicate the real point of your paragraph. Then make sure that the ideas you select are related to those key words.
Here is the brainstorm list for the topic sentence Pete’s sloppiness is a terrible habit. The key word in the topic sentence is sloppiness. Which ideas would you keep? Why? Which would you drop? Why?
1.His apartment is carpeted with dirty clothes, books, candy wrappers
2.His favorite candy – M & Ms
3.He is often a latecomer or a no-show
4.He jots time-and-place information for dates and appointments on scraps of paper that are tucked away and forgotten
5.Stacks of old newspapers sit on chair seats
6.Socks bake on lampshades
7.Papers for classes wrinkled and carelessly scrawled
8.I met Pete for the first time in math class
9.His sister is just the opposite, very neat
10.Always late for classes, out of breath
11.He is one messy person
12.Papers stained with Coke or M & Ms
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You probably dropped ideas 2, 8, and 9 because they do not relate to the topic – Pete’s sloppiness. You should also have dropped idea 11 because it merely repeats the topic sentence.
Arranging Ideas in a Plan or an Outline
A plan briefly lists and arranges the ideas you wish to present in your paragraph. An outline does the same thing a bit more formally, with letters or numbers indicating the main groupings of ideas.
First, group together ideas that have something in common, that are related or alike in some way. Then order your ideas by choosing which one you want to come first, which one second, and so on.
Below is a plan for a paragraph about Pete’s sloppiness:
Topic sentence: Pete’s sloppiness is a terrible habit.
His apartment is carpeted with dirty clothes, books, candy wrappers
Stacks of old newspapers sit on chair seats
Socks bake on lampshades
He jots time-and-place information for dates and appointments on scraps of paper that are tucked away and forgotten
He is often a latecomer or a no-show
Always late for classes, out of breath
Papers for classes wrinkled and carelessly scrawled
Papers stained with Coke or M & Ms
Do you see the logic in this arrangement? How are the ideas in each group above related?
Does it make sense to discuss Pete’s apartment first, his lateness second, and his written work third? Why?
Once you have finished arranging ideas, you should have a clear plan from which to write your paragraph.
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Writing and Revising the Paragraph
Writing the First Draft
The first draft should contain all the ideas you have decided to use in the order you have chosen in your plan. Start with your topic sentence; avoid getting stuck on any one word, sentence, or idea.
Once you have included all of the ideas from your plan, think about adding a concluding sentence that summarizes your main point or adds a final idea. Not all paragraphs need concluding sentences. If you are telling a story, the paragraph can end when the story does.
Revising
Revising means rethinking and rewriting your first draft. You may add, drop, or rearrange details.
As you revise, keep the reader in mind. Ask yourself these questions:
*Is my topic sentence clear?
*Can a reader understand and follow my ideas?
*Does the paragraph follow a logical order and guide the reader from point to point?
*Will the paragraph keep the reader interested?
In addition, check your paragraph for adequate support and unity.
Revising for Support
As you revise, make sure your paragraph contains excellent support – that is, specific facts, details, and examples that fully explain your topic sentence.
Avoid repeating ideas – especially the topic sentence. Even if they are in different words, repeated ideas only make the reader suspect that your paragraph is padded and that you do not have enough facts and details to support your main idea properly.
Which of the following paragraphs contains the most convincing support?
Paragraph a:
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(1)Our run-down city block was made special by a once-vacant lot called The Community Garden.
(2)The lot was planted with all sorts of plants, vegetables, and flowers.
(3)There was a path curving through it.
(4)We went there to think.
(5)The Community Garden made our block special.
(6)Though our neighbourhood was known as “tough”, no one ever vandalized the garden.
Paragraph b:
(1)Our run-down city block was made special by a once-vacant lot called The Community Garden.
(2)I'm not sure who first had the idea, but the thin soil had been fertilized, raked, and planted with a surprising assortment of vegetables and flowers.
(3)Anyone interested in gardening could tend green pepper plants, string beans, fresh herbs, even corn.
(4)Others planted flowers, which changed with the seasons – tall red dahlias, white and purple irises, and taxi-yellow marigolds to discourage the insects.
(5)A narrow path curved gracefully among the plants, paved with bricks no doubt left over from the building that once stood here.
(6)The Community Garden was our pride, the place we went to think and to be still.
(7)Though the neighbourhood was known as “tough”, no one ever vandalized the garden.
■Paragraph a contains general statements but little specific information to support the topic sentence.
■Paragraph a also contains needless repetition. What is the number of the sentence or sentences that just repeat the topic sentence?
Paragraph b, however, supports the topic sentence with specific details and examples: thin soil, fertilized, raked and planted, green pepper plants, string beans, fresh herbs, corn, red dahlias. What other specific support does it give?